Thoughts

Streams of consciousness

Are you a leader or a follower? I lead when I see no one around who’s lead I want to follow. When around peers it’ll be depending on the situation.

What activities do you lose yourself in? Drawing. That’s what’s great and painful about it. Since I lose track of time, I can only afford to draw when my schedule is clear for hours, and not a thing can interrupt the process, not even getting up to eat. When it doesn’t go my way, and …

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Eclipsed by the memory

I peel back layers of distraction and anxiety, try to find my way to my safe place… And there you are, a blood rush! I look at the crimson sunset and the glowing autumn colors and can’t help but wish on this beauty for you to be well. It has been a while. I’m fighting …

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Owning the narrative

T.W: discussing sexual assault. This is undoubtedly the hardest post I’ve ever written. One I’ve been contemplating for years now, but the timing either didn’t feel right or the motivation stemmed not from the right place. The intention now is to heal, to own my story, to tell it on my time and for the …

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Face of joy

Today’s joy looks like dancing at home to hindi songs in workout clothes. Joy and safety have never been this close in my whole life. Alhamdu lillah.

Sometimes grieving looks like binge watching hindi movies and crying your heart out.

This movie is one of my all time favorites (top 3). But I couldn’t watch it for years. Exactly 8 years. Last time I watched this film it was 2014, I was sitting next to my mom who passed away one year later. We cried side by side and shared treasured moments around movies and …

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unveilings

since I decided to not wear a head cover, I’ve been observing people’s reactions very closely. And they have been reacting,in big and small ways. In delight and disappointment. But mostly in surprise. Some people have sheered at the sight of my new appearance. expressed their joy and pride of the journey I’ve made and …

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Slow come back

I was in such pain That I dissociated Now, I’m slowly healing Slowly coming back to myself Slowly regaining the ability to feel Coming back to my senses Now that I feel and see the scars.. It downs on me Slowly.. How much I didn’t deserve this!

Old Cold News

I’ve been told the world is kind of a mess lately. That maybe I should follow the news. A tragedy is about to happen. I fail to see what’s different about this particular war that got everyone’s attention. Were the other tragedies lesser because the flag on the weapons represented the good side? Were the …

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Meeting Grace

I am a special educator. Yesterday a girl came running to me and gave me a huge heartfelt hug. We haven’t met before, so I asked her what her name was, she said: -Grace. -what a beautiful name! Do you know what it means? -no. -Oh my God, I have to tell you, it’s so …

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