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I have this thing,
Where somehow,
I keep missing
All the beginnings!
I don’t realize I’m alone
Until everyone I care for
is long gone
To take care of their own.
I don’t realize I’m in love
Until my heart aches from longing
And feel my soul splitting open
And suddenly words overgrow
My sovereignty is overthrown.
I don’t realize I’m depressed
Until weeks have passed
Where I haven’t stepped out
Of my mind
Leaving my body stone cold,
The only light I had
My hands have failed to hold.
But I’ve come to know my way around
The darkness that lives in me
I slip into it often
I don’t remember how or when,
Like everything else
I don’t realize it
Until I’ve fallen in.
I have missed many beginnings
But, I keep going anyway
If just to be there
To see the end.